Engrish & Funny Typos

This is so bad it almost isn’t even funny:

First off, what does EPHPC stand for? Using the acronym finder, one unverified meaning for the acronym EPHPC is listed:  Environmental Professionals Home Page Clay.  Yes, that makes things so much clearer.  Digging deeper, we learn there is an ephpc YouTube channel, where a bunch of guys interview people at some sort of trade show.  Not, unsurprisingly, about poker.  So, the EPHPC thing must be some sort of brand of playing cards, but good luck finding them on the internet.  So let’s talk a little bit about “We Glaim exlclusive Lrade Yark rights in Ace of Wpades, Joker,name, number, back design, case Eesign and Rame of Kinish Tsed on our various Qards.”  Obviously, they “claim exclusive trademark rights in ace of spades, joker, name, number, back design, case design and game of…on our various cards.”  What is Kinish Tsed?

This image has been posted on other sites, and some smart comments suggest that the funny typos seen above are not a result of someone not knowing how to spell those words, but a case of poor OCR recognition – optical character recognition, where copy was scanned but not checked for accuracy in spelling or context.  That sort of takes the fun out of it, doesn’t it?  To make us all feel better, let’s tell some jokes about playing cards.

Q:  What’s the difference between a professional poker player and a large pizza?
A:  A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q:  What’s the difference between praying at the dinner table and praying at the poker table?
A:  At the poker table you REALLY mean it.

The incomparable Steven Wright has a joke about poker – “Last night I was playing poker with Tarot cards.  I got a full house and four people died.”

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My personal favorite this time around is the “Salt burn salmon empty skull.” It has such an unappetizing ring to it, and yet it’s probably not half bad in real life. What I’ve been amazed at through these past three posts is that as bizarre as the menu looks, everything seems to be spelled correctly.

For those who want to know what this says without putting forth the effort of translating this mess, here is my best guess (with typos):

Council exchange *unintelligible* – I have a council stuido flat in Wallisdown own kitchen own bathroom intocom system on ground floor *unintelligible* quiet block of four *unintelligible* quiet astate pets allowed with permisson A big commual garden all fenced off If anyone would be intrested in swapping with me chan call on *number removed* I am looking to swap to Winton on Moondown on surrounding arears

Um…

OK.  Shakespeare is spelled, well, Shakespeare.  Also, this is from a Turkish website, where they took a poem, translated it from English (presumably Shakespeare’s English) into Turkish, and then translated it back to modern English.  Maybe it’s this one?

“When my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies,
That she might think me some untutor’d youth,
Unlearned in the world’s false subtleties.
Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,
Although she knows my days are past the best,
Simply I credit her false speaking tongue:
On both sides thus is simple truth suppress’d.
But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
And wherefore say not I that I am old?
O, love’s best habit is in seeming trust,
And age in love loves not to have years told:
Therefore I lie with her and she with me,
And in our faults by lies we flatter’d be. “

Sonnet 138

So this isn’t so much of a typo as much as it is a “Whaaa-?” This is the outside of a plane. Why on earth would you need to display where the first aid is from the outside unless that was how you got to it?

I’m really not sure what happened to this sign. Some part of  me doesn’t want to know, either. I sound two misspelled words, one homophone, and one instant of tense confusion. Did I miss anything?

I’ll just say that if they another name, they look like they’d be a tasty snack. Just for clarification, these are called Crunky Nude Balls. Nude in this instance means “inside out,” I looked it up.

It took me a few moments to figure out what I wanted to write for this product and it’s absurd packaging. First off, men do not wear panties (unless they are women’s). Second, what makes these panties disposable unless they’re some off brand of Depends. Third, what on earth is going on with that tagline??

I assume that by keeping you best on what looks to be a water advertisement, they are saying to keep yourself healthy, or at your best. I appreciate their concern but would appreciate a proofreader for such advertisements as well.

I don’t know about you, but the idea of feeling a bench is a new concept. Normally I don’t sit down with the expressed intent of feeling whatever it is that I’m sitting on, nor do I find it interesting. At least they’re polite.